In Control
by Cristi0819
Summary: This is set one year after the end of "Control."  It is Cal's story from his POV.  I hope you enjoy!


Disclaimer: The primary characters in this story belong to Janet Evanovich. I make no money for this work. While I work in health care, the names and places detailed in this story are not based on specific persons or events.

A/N: If you haven't read the story "Control," this one-shot won't make a lot of sense to you. Special thanks to FairTaxGirl and Margaret Fowler for reviewing this one for me. Y'all are the best!

In Control

Cal's POV - One year after the end of "Control"….

A year ago my life was totally out of control. I couldn't do my job or see my friends. I couldn't sleep. Hell, I could barely eat. My boss, Ranger, pretty much forced me to get some help. That help came in the form of being admitted to the psych unit at the VA hospital. Believe me I never thought I would be locked up on a psych unit. But going to war and coming back home changed me into a person I didn't recognize. For a while, I thought I would never get myself back, never be in control of my emotions and my reactions again.

Education, medication, therapy and a very special person named Stephanie changed all that. The education that I received helped me to understand more about PTSD. Understanding helped me to accept what was going on with me and that under the circumstances, my reactions had been normal. Medication helped me to calm down enough to accept the therapy and give it the hard work it needed. Stephanie helped me by giving me someone to talk to and unconditional support. She was my social worker on the psych unit and through no help from me, she also started seeing my boss. They're now engaged to be married and she lives in the building where we all live. I've known Ranger for a long time and I've never seen him happier. He and Stephanie complement each other perfectly. She's bubbly and outgoing and he's more reserved. They've both seen some bad things in their lives and I think neither thought they would ever find a relationship like they have. It's been amazing to watch.

Stephanie helped me and I was lucky enough to help her when she had a problem with an ex-boyfriend. We became close friends and I value that friendship very much.

Stephanie and I normally have lunch together about once a week. About 3 months ago, we were sitting in Pino's when a friend of Stephanie's walked in and she introduced us. Her friend's name was Tangi and she was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever met. She was about 5'2 with olive skin and dark brown hair and pretty brown eyes. She was a social worker like Stephanie, but worked with troubled adolescents instead of veterans. Stephanie introduced us and Tangi studied me for a minute before she said, "Is that thing on your head supposed to mean something?"

I had to laugh out loud. I had a foot and a half and many pounds on her, but it didn't seem to faze her. She had lunch with us and I found that she was funny and kind and witty and when Stephanie excused herself to go to the restroom, I asked her out. Tangi was a little surprised, but readily accepted. We've been dating since then. We're taking things slow, but I absolutely adore her. Her warmth and understanding absolutely take my breath away. I have a feeling that Stephanie set up the lunch meeting between us, letting us both think it was coincidental. She'll never tell and I'll never ask, but I'm eternally grateful for her matchmaking skills.

Stephanie also started a PTSD group at our building, RangeMan. I had been attending groups before this and found them very helpful. It was nice to meet other men and women who had gone through the same things I had. We were able to support each other the way no one else could. The groups at RangeMan, though, helped me find friends and a support group in my own home and place of business. At first, I didn't think I'd like going to groups there. After all, I work there with a bunch of badasses. I didn't want them to hear what I was talking about. Stephanie made sure everyone stayed out of the room we used, though and soon enough, once I was assured of privacy, I started attending the groups. They were led by two Vietnam veterans who had seen everything. There is nothing I could say to them that would throw them off. In a way, they had become like father figures for those of us who had served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Many of us had fathers who had served in Vietnam and talking with these two men helped me get a better understanding of my father and all he went through. He and I had actually started talking more and more lately. He's still a relatively closed off man, but he's making an effort and so am I. The fact that he's even willing to make an effort shows me that he does understand what I went through and wants to support me. I can't express how good that alone makes me feel.

Once I had a year's "recovery" as Stephanie calls it, she bugged me until I agreed to be trained as a Peer Counselor. This position is for veterans who also have PTSD and have been through treatment and are stable. They teach us how to educate other veterans about PTSD and how to recognize when someone needs more intensive help than we can give. I've been to two training seminars and in a week I'll earn my certificate as an official Peer Counselor. Just like serving my country, it is an honor to be chosen to help other veterans and I'm very proud that I'll be able to contribute in some way.

I'm not the only one helping, though. Once the other RangeMan got word of the group, they started helping, too. They sometimes invite the guys to hang out for a football or basketball game and they're all talking about forming a softball team next summer. One of the problems some of the veterans have had is finding jobs. Thanks to Ranger and the core teams' help, 5 of them now have permanent positions at companies RangeMan is friendly with. Ranger also hired one of the men to work in IT and one to work the front desk at RangeMan. It's amazing how having a job has improved the men's confidence and morale. I knew before my problems that I worked with good men, but I had no idea how good they actually are.

Looking back over the past year, I can't believe how much my life has changed. While I certainly never thought I would say being on a locked psychiatric unit had been a good thing, it had brought me to a much better place in life. I'm healthy and strong again and I'm so grateful for the help I received and the friends I've made. I still have nightmares occasionally, particularly after a bad day at work, but now I can reason myself out of the panic I feel. The mind truly is an amazing thing.

I enjoy my work again and I have fun with my friends. I'm dating an amazing woman. Everything I went through was worth it. I'd do it all over again to come out on this side of recovery. I can't wait to see what the next year brings.

A/N: I fell completely in love with Cal while writing "Control" and wanted to give him some time in the spotlight. I hope you all enjoy the story. As always, please review. It's the only payment we get!


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